Archive for July, 2010

It’s A Party…

I know I’ve mentioned this before, but we’re having a party!! It’s approaching quicker than I could have imagined. From the beginning I knew this was going to be a doozie. I told the girls it will be the biggest party they will ever have besides their wedding. We do simple birthdays, none of this spending hundreds of dollars on ponies and the like. So this really is a big deal for them.

For the last several months I’ve been planning this shindig with the help of my very dear friend Mattie Babb. She’s somewhat of a party genius. Anything that you will see that is awesome assume it was her idea :). Mattie’s not the only one who’s been a big help. Jenny Gilbert did the amazing invites and Amanda Ford is working on a fun little surprise. Matt’s mom is making a potato salad & chili for the hot dogs. Even our neighbor Jason is making his famous hamburgers. Then there’s Matt Lawrence that works hard all day in this dreadful heat and has come home everyday this week and worked until dark getting the yard ready. By far he has the hardest job. I just love him. It has definitely been a group effort.

If by some strange chance you didn’t get an invite directly from me please know that you are invited! It’s this Saturday at 4:00 at our house. As to not put our info on the world-wide web, send me an email if you don’t know where we live, jesslawrence1@gmail.com. Thanks to all that have been a huge part in making this adoption celebration happen. I know two little girls that will remember this day for the rest of their lives.


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Two Weeks Too Long…

I travel for work a good bit, so Matt & the girls are used to it. This time the way things have worked out I won’t see Christal for two weeks & I get to see Angel for a couple of hours in between my trip and her next trip. Usually I miss them, but I’m so busy I don’t think about it. This time it’s different. Two weeks is too long.

I’m not sure if it’s the length of time or this new bond I feel between us. It’s weird. I didn’t think I was holding anything back as far as our relationship went, but as the days go on they really do feel more and more like my daughters. Maybe subconsciously the fact that they could possibly leave at any moment weighed more on me than I realized. Crazy. I didn’t know I could love two kids any more than I did. We have nephews that we have loved more that we thought we could, but this is different. I wouldn’t say that I love the girls more, I just love them different.

Wouldn’t you miss these faces…

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You’re Invited…

We’re have a big party to celebrate the adoption! Below is part of the invitation that my friend Jenny did. If I do say so myself they are AMAZING! You can check out her other stuff at Jen & Ink. If you would like the details on the party let me know.

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I’ve heard that sometimes the arrival of a new baby can bring a little bit of stress. Everything changes in that one instance that a child is born. Your life is no longer just yours. You now have to keep a small person alive and it completely depends on you. Not only do you have to keep it alive, but you have to disciple them and help guide them into becoming who God created them to be. No pressure huh?

Well Matt & I didn’t go through that phase… exactly. I’ve  noticed that since the adoption has been final I’ve been a bit more stressed out about my parenting. Am I doing it right? Will they forgive me for the times I’ve already screwed up? Is it too late? Have I already imparted thought processes that don’t line up with scripture? When I sit back and really think about it I can definitely justify any anxiety, worry or stress. Except there’s not really ever a justification for anxiety or worry. The Bible is very clear about not worrying and trusting God.

So as I go through this phase of overwhelming realization of the responsibility set before us I’m fighting to trust in the sovereignty of God. I guess we will go through the same stages most parents do, it just looks a little different with us. I didn’t think the adoption was that big of a deal, but I’m finding out it’s a bigger deal than I anticipated. I look at the girls differently, I see Matt & I in them. Not necessarily in the looks department, but in the way our hearts look. It makes me want to spend more time on my heart that’s for sure.

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We started counting down the days as soon as the date was set. July 14th couldn’t come fast enough. We were ready for this adoption to be final. I can’t put my finger on why there was such anticipation. The girls have been living life with us for nearly two years. It’s not like we were awaiting their arrival. I know my patience has been wearing thin with having to do all the little things a foster parent has to do.  Don’t get me wrong, I have loved the experience and will more than likely do it again. I just want to go out-of-town with my kids and not run it by a case worker. Or not have to report every cough, sinus infection and toothache.

So July 14th came. We headed to the courthouse with both sets of grandparents in tow and our church staff (all two of them). We were there early and all went through the security check. We met our attorney and were shuffled into the courtroom. I was under the impression that we were waiting for everyone to get there, but before I knew it the attorney was talking with a lady that says we’re good to go. Literally… we were free to leave. Everything was taken care of. I’m pretty sure my jaw was on the ground. I mean we were all mingling and waiting for this thing to get started. The attorney asked if the judge would come and take a picture with us and he did. That was it. The adoption worker didn’t even make it. Everyone was pretty confused. There was no paper signing, no official, “I pronounce you adopted.” Nothing. It was just a whirl wind. Kind of a let down, but it’s ok we’re having a big party to celebrate.

As I was going over the adoption day and thinking about my own adoption, the one where I became a child of God, I noticed some similarities. When I asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior there was nothing official that happened. It happened in the stillness of my heart, just me and Him. Angels didn’t come down and announce to the world the newest child of God. It was then that I realized that even though our adoption was official on July 14, 2010 in the eyes of the state of Louisiana, I think the adoption took place in our hearts quite a while ago. Maybe it was when we decided to go through with it. Or when they went from being the girls to being my girls.  Or the times we’ve spent in prayer together & talking about Jesus. It could have been when I welled up with so much pride at their awards days at school I could have burst. Maybe it was when I wanted to wring a kid’s neck for calling one of them names. It could have been any of these instances or the sum of all of them and more. All I know is Matt & I adopted two of the most amazing little people I’ve ever met and we’re proud to call them our daughters. Our daughters… I like the sound of that.

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